What does it actually look like to live your values day to day?
So many of us say we want freedom, joy, community, pleasure.
But what does that actually look like at 7:30 AM on a Tuesday?
In this episode of the Calm Bomb podcast, I sat down with Amelia Hruby, PhD — feminist writer, podcaster, producer, and founder of Softer Sounds, a feminist podcast studio that supports women and non-binary small business owners. She’s also the creator of Off the Grid, a podcast about leaving social media without losing your clients.
We talked about everything from life after a PhD in philosophy, to DIY zine culture and punk, to tarot and astrology, to Audre Lorde and the politics of agency.
This episode was a whole universe.
Here’s what stayed with me.
1. Values Aren’t Vibes — They’re How You Spend a Tuesday
When I asked Amelia what she dedicates her life to, she didn’t lead with “business growth” or “career goals.”
She said:
“Freedom, joy, pleasure, community.”
Then she walked me through a normal day:
Waking up naturally around 7–8, when her dog wakes up
Coffee, a slow arrival to the desk
Calls, recording sessions, editing audio, replying to emails
Energy dipping around 2–3pm (relatable) → rest, food
Evenings walking the dog, hanging with her spouse, simple home life in a Nebraska college town
No dramatic 4AM CEO routine. No “always on” hustle.
Just a day shaped around how she wants to feel and what she values.
She’s not just talking about freedom and joy.
She’s scheduling around them.
2. From PhD in Philosophy to Feminist Podcast Studio (Nonlinear Is Normal)
On paper, her path looks very “serious”:
PhD in Philosophy from DePaul
7 years in a doctoral program
Teaching at the university
Community organizing
Radio DJ
Not exactly the obvious pipeline into a feminist podcast studio.
But when you listen deeper, it tracks:
Academia gave her time freedom (no strict 9–5, changing terms, self-managed schedule).
Community organizing + DJing gave her a love of shared spaces, sound, and storytelling.
A later part-time job with a strict 1–6pm schedule showed her exactly what she didn’t want: being managed every minute of the day.
Entrepreneurship wasn’t some random leap.
It was a return to what her whole body already knew:
“I need flexible time. I’m self-motivated. I work better when I set my own rhythm.”
Your “random” side paths are often the truest hints of who you actually are.
3. Meaning-Making Systems as Mirrors, Not Rules
If you know me, you know I lit up when Amelia started talking about tarot, astrology, human design, life path numbers, Enneagram, Myers-Briggs — all the systems I also love to weave into my work.
She described them not as answers, but as mirrors:
Tarot for self-reflection
Astrology (Capricorn rising, Aries sun, Gemini moon)
Human design (Generator)
Numerology (life path 7)
Not in a “this defines me forever” way, but in a:
“These tools reflect back pieces of me I can feel, but haven’t fully articulated.”
Two important things she said:
Life experience came first.
She had to try things — radio, zines, community organizing, creative work — to know what she loved.Then the systems helped her understand how she works.
They helped her honor her energy, her rhythms, and her creative process.
And her rule with all of them?
“Take what works and leave the rest.”
Yes. This is exactly how I hold these systems too.
4. Follow Pleasure (Tiny Steps, Not Big Leaps)
I asked her how people can begin to tap into this “meaning-making” and self-understanding in an accessible way.
Her answer: follow pleasure.
Not in a reckless, throw-everything-out way.
But in small, doable ways:
A post you want to write
A short email that lights you up
A tiny zine
A podcast episode on something you can’t stop thinking about
She didn’t one day decide: “I’m going to write a book” or “I’m going to build a studio.”
She followed little sparks — posts, episodes, zines — and over time, they snowballed into a body of work.
We don’t need one grand decision.
We need a series of small, honest moves toward what feels alive.
5. DIY, Punk, and Zines: Learning Agency from the Underground
When we shifted into talking about the current political moment in the U.S. — the fear, the restrictions, the feeling of collapse — Amelia used a word I’ve been holding close:
Agency.
Not empowerment as “climb the corporate ladder and be a boss babe.”
But agency as: the power you already have by virtue of being alive, in a body, in relationship with others.
And where did she learn that?
Not from institutions.
From DIY and punk and anarchist culture:
House shows
Zine fests
Community organizing
Small, scrappy, creative spaces
She talked about zines as handmade magazines:
A page you write or draw on
Folded, photocopied, stapled
Shared or sold at zine fests
Sometimes personal, sometimes political, sometimes weird
Zines taught her this:
“Media isn’t just something corporations feed you. You can make it.”
That’s agency.
That’s “I am not just a consumer — I am a creator.”
In a moment where websites are disappearing, information is being suppressed, and platforms are unstable, zines and DIY media are quietly becoming powerful again.
6. Don’t Surrender Your Power Before Anyone Takes It
We talked about how easy it is, right now, to feel powerless.
To “give up” internally before anything has even happened externally.
Her reminder:
Many of us in the U.S. still have power we haven’t fully claimed yet.
We give it away mentally before anyone even attempts to take it.
Cultivating agency means:
Learning to feel your power
Making demands where you can
Speaking up and out
Standing between harm and the people being harmed when necessary
Rooting into community instead of collapsing into isolation
That doesn’t mean bypassing fear or pretending things aren’t awful.
It means deciding:
“I will not disown my own power. I will practice using it — with others.”
7. Audre Lorde, the Erotic, and the Ripple Effect of Liberation
When I asked her what she’d recommend to my listeners — many of whom are corporate, government, nonprofit, or early-stage entrepreneurs — she didn’t give a productivity tip.
She said:
“Read Audre Lorde. Read Sister Outsider.”
Lorde writes about:
The erotic — not as sex, but as deep, embodied aliveness and connection
The way liberation in one area of life refuses to stay contained
How, once you experience true aliveness somewhere, you start to demand it everywhere
Amelia shared Lorde’s metaphor of the little bead of yellow in old margarine packets: when you pop it, the color slowly spreads through the whole thing.
That’s what liberation does.
You set one boundary at work → suddenly you can’t tolerate disrespect in relationships.
You leave one harmful environment → suddenly your body refuses to tolerate other forms of harm.
You reclaim your time in one area → suddenly you question every place your time is being stolen.
And yes, that can be destabilizing.
But it’s also where real life begins.
8. “I Got a PhD and I Use It Every Day (Just Not How They Meant)”
One of my favorite parts of our conversation was when she laughed about the joke she tells:
“I got a whole PhD just to do nothing with it.”
But then she corrected herself — because that’s not true.
She uses her PhD every day in ways academia never predicted:
Brilliant critical thinking → makes her a powerful editor, interviewer, and storyteller
Ability to see the structure of arguments quickly → helps her shape podcast episodes, frameworks, and narratives
Deep listening — honed through hours of editing other people’s voices — makes her a better collaborator, friend, and host
Add in:
Her DIY “I’ll figure it out” ethos from punk and zines
Her spiritual practices from tarot and astrology
Her love of books and media
… and now she’s writing a book about attention and social media that weaves all of it together.
Nothing was wasted.
Each “past life” became a skill set, a lens, a thread that now runs through everything she creates.
9. What This Means for You (Especially If You’re in Corporate or Just Starting a Business)
Whether you’re in a 9–5 you’re outgrowing, or in the early wobbly stages of entrepreneurship, here’s what I hear in Amelia’s story:
Your past lives aren’t random.
Teacher, analyst, organizer, admin, creator, researcher — all of it can and will be used.Follow the small pleasures.
Write the post. Host the tiny workshop. Make the zine. Start the scrappy podcast. It snowballs.You don’t need permission to be media.
You can create instead of only consuming — whether it’s a PDF, zine, newsletter, or podcast.Agency is a practice, not a mindset hack.
It’s learning, slowly, to act from your own power in the conditions you’re in.Liberation ripples.
One boundary, one act of honesty, one decision to honor your energy can and will start moving through every part of your life.Your skills are portable.
That degree or job or “random” season you think you wasted? It may be the exact training your future work needs.
You are allowed to be nonlinear.
You are allowed to outgrow the ladder.
You are allowed to be punk about your life.
Amelia Hruby, PhD is a feminist writer, podcaster and producer with a PhD in philosophy. She is the founder of Softer Sounds, a feminist podcast studio for entrepreneurs and creatives. And she’s the host of Off the Grid, a podcast about leaving social media without losing all your clients. Learn more about her: https://www.ameliahruby.com/
