Ep 3: Be your own boss
Hello, hello, and welcome back to the design+ podcast, my name is Miriam. Raquel Sands. And i like to go by my middle name. Raquel, Sands. I am a career coach and lifestyle designer. This podcast is all about helping you design your lifestyle, your ideal job, your ideal business.
Sharing some tips and Kind of life experiences that i have had, i'll be bringing people on to the podcast, to also share their perspectives, about job hopping, creating their business, creating their lifestyle. Uh, and if you're interested in any of that, please stay tuned, this episode is all about you being the boss.
So talking about bosses what it means to have it boss, what it means to be your own boss. We need to start with defining that word because Um, Boss can mean a lot of different things depending on industry depending on Um, the job we're in whether it's one person multiple people.
And, Just like any other word or Subject. It's important to define it. Um and figure out what we're giving power to that word. Uh, how we are? Um, Creating that idea or identity for ourselves. So, Logistically. Bosses. Is someone or our people who have some sort of control exert, some sort of power?
Over our job over a roll. Um, this could theoretically Um, You know, i don't know. Psychologically also mean that Maybe a family member or Um, just there's other types of Bosses, quote, unquote that are Exerting power over our lives within family roles within friendship within Any sort of context, but within the context of jobs and work specifically, it's someone who has Power control level of authority, over your role.
Your resources, your time. Um, your creativity. Um, access to certain things opportunities to go up, down off sideways, the corporate ladder. Um, So that's what we're starting with. Is that interpretation of boss Um, if you have multiple buses, this changes, of course, even more the dynamic, But what i really want to hone in on today, Is that, that is an external definition of boss.
That is really Thinking that there's someone something outside of you. That has power control. More autonomy and authority than you do over your job and your role. And we could say to a certain extent that this is true because in the corporate world uh i'm thinking regardless of the country and continent that we live on.
Or reside in. There is a sort of ladder. Um, where people getting a certain amount of experience getting certain degrees and paperwork and Uh, looking the part of a boss. They get that role. Um, in order to exert power over others. Um, in order to have a certain title, And, These are all external facing, i would say, Things and external facing.
Um, forms of control. Um, that we are taught to abide in and live in. But putting aside all of that external parts because that person or those people have had to play a part to get to that point in time. And they have to continue to play those parts.
Um, to appear the boss and even if they have no real control, Um, because spoiler alert they don't over you. Um, they continue in these roles in these. So-called power.
Powerful jobs having some sort of power. Um, So putting all that aside, the external we're here to talk about you and the internal in how you are the one that can. Define how much power, how much control your boss, your bosses have over you. And in particular, of course, in your work and your job.
So, When we go into, Starting a job process and Filing submitting the application, going through the interview process, maybe submitting portfolios and Different materials, taking tests, all these sorts of things to kind of Prove ourselves show that we are capable. Of handling. Whatever, expectations. And Um, requirements that they're already putting on us, we are choosing that.
So we are already putting ourselves. In the position of That environment of that person. Um, and although we're not taught this but we have The choice to number one, negotiate salary, and benefits. Clarify number two, the job description and expectations. And three. Get a really good feel as much as we can about how this person or these people operate, how they talk.
Um, How open are they to? Are questions. So this is all part of our power that we are. Choosing to identify ourselves as bosses as the boss. And we are also hiring them. We we are being hired of course, but It is a two-way street and then, once all of that is done and you're in the field and you're in that role, that job Even within that.
The so-called boss may have. Of course, like we said before, certain control certain power, Um but you also continue to have that. How many meetings, how many expectations and different priorities How maybe your, um, What is that expression? Your You're getting stretched out. I forgot the expression. But, You're getting pulled in different directions.
All of that, you have control over how someone speaks to you how they address you. You have control over your time and if you see that there's no opportunities being given to you, or Um, there's something that you really want to explore. Um, Whether during a review, you want to mention something about other learning opportunities or growth opportunities, you are the boss.
You are the boss of your path of your career of your life. And, In my experience, people have not been so forthright. They haven't really shared that nugget of wisdom that Even though sure logistically maybe you can't fire your boss or maybe you can't. Um Sign anyone's timesheet. But Regardless of those external things, you can choose.
You are the boss. Of how you show up, how you allow and one other people to perceive you to a certain extent, of course. But to Work with someone to. Create relationships and grow your career. You are the one because ultimately you are looking after your own best interests.
Your boss. Should in an ideal world. Look out for your best interest, your colleagues, your team. But, More often than not, that's not the case. And so we need to constantly remind ourselves. That jobs are not built. Thinking about the individual, they're not from built from The bottom up, they're not thinking of individual growth.
So, if We bring this analogy of nature that you are a certain plant. You're A flower a tree, whatever. You know. Favorite. Um, I don't know. Seed plant, you are? Um, You have certain needs. That plant that seed has certain needs that may be others, do not and each.
Of part of nature, each. I don't know what else to say besides seed. Um, needs to be cultivated and nourished in certain ways. They need a certain climates and environments, they need more or less sun or air. They need certain soil and pH level. And That's just, Like people, we are all a part of nature.
And, As we all know, The society that we operate and live in was not built in that way sustainably. Um, Nourishing me. In a Holistic fashion, where All the different needs are being met internally externally. For the whole group. So, it is Up to us. Individually to choose. To not just be a piece a cog in the machine and that whenever The.
Um, to figure this analogy. Um, Whenever the factory worker or the person in charge of the machine decides or needs to replace that one piece. You're not just that one piece, you are the whole machine, they The system that we are living in. Views. And has created our roles and the expectations to that.
Just like anything else. It's replaceable. We it doesn't need to be upcycled or recycled. It doesn't need to be. Fertilized and replenished and repotted. All it has to do is be thrown away and you get a new one. Which is why we see a lot of the older people struggle.
Finding work and figuring out how to adapt, how to grow. The newer generations. I feel Um, are doing great in this in that, you know, f the system because the system wasn't made for us, it didn't have us in mind, it's not only Um, Old and kind of backwards thinking and it's just unsustainable.
But it's not functional. It's not helpful and it doesn't produce quality. Um, For anybody, it doesn't promote any sense of growth and autonomy. So, For example. Covid-19 the pandemic forced. The systems to stop and think, and kind of challenge the way that they work and create new forms of work, whether that is the hybrid and environment, the completely remote environment.
And although that possibility was always there because This whole idea of technology and progress and being able to Uh, work smarter not harder. Those are all great in theory, but they haven't really been put into practice. And so, Unless there's these big. Changes that happen externally. It is again up to us the individual to Take matters into our own hands.
Promote ourselves. Acknowledge that, we are our own bosses and that You can say no, you have a choice. You can tell your boss or whoever i need to reschedule. I don't appreciate your tone. Don't talk to me this way. I'm interested in this course. I really see myself going down.
This route. Are there any opportunities for this? Any of those sort of conversations and kind of ideas. Um, You are the boss. Um, You are the one that has the ultimate power. Over yourself. Over. What you want for your Job your career, how you choose to make money, how you choose to survive and thrive in this economy.
Um, And you have the power. And, Um, the system that we create, that has been created that we just operated and have been kind of Planted and potted in. Um, Has. I feel given made us feel made us believe that we are powerless that within the constraints and the limitations that have been imposed on us.
That we have to be the ones to Continue that and squeeze into it, that expression of a round pagan, a square horse, something like that. Um, But, Now, that we are seeing And now that the frustration has gotten to that point within the corporate world within um, Trying to get a degree or get some sort of trade and Go up the ladder and break some sort of mythological glass ceiling, like all of these things.
Um, Predated us. And have tried to chain and shackle, and prevent us from our own growth. Um, So, Remember. Dojo message of this episode of today. Is that you are your own boss? And, Part of that is making the hard choices of quitting your job. Leaving a certain environment certain team.
Um, making the choice of going back to school. Not finishing school. All of these different things that have different. Kind of domino, ripple effect. Economically mentally, physically, emotionally spiritually like in all ways. Um, But you checking in with yourself. And ideally, i would say Having a five minute just five minutes.
With yourself. At least a couple times a week and this could be i really like to walk and talk so that's what i call it. I just kind of when i'm by myself talk to my self. Um, This is what i'm going through, this is what i'm struggling, with this person.
Bothers me, rubs me, the wrong way. I'm feeling xyz. And in doing so. Really verbalizing and expressing where i'm at in the moment. I am forced to confront my feelings and face. My fears whatever frustrations i'm feeling. Um, because if i meditate, or if i try to Just journal it, which are also great.
I'm not saying don't do those things. Um, But, Meditation. I feel sometimes. Um, just quiets the feelings kind of subduce them. And journaling while gray sometimes. At least for me, i don't even have the words. To express the the sadness, or the anger or whatever resentment, that's kind of boiling.
Um, from a day's work. From being in a certain environment, that's Drained me already. And now to kind of have the energy to check in with myself and be my own boss that takes even more effort So, Whether it is meditation or going for a jog talking with yourself, whatever that looks like for you.
But ultimately having that time, To sit with yourself. Um, express your truth, your feelings in that moment. Your current reality. And then being able to take that objective. Um, action that Okay. This is kind of where my savings are. This is what's happening in my life right now. How long can i stay in this situation?
What are my options here? Do i need to talk to hr? Do i need to Um, finding ally do i need to start working on my resume? Do i want to start my own thing? Then you start looking at what are your options because you've already checked in with yourself and your energy, your time, you've already seen what Kind of is happening in your current reality.
And that's how you start. I really feel and believe To be your own boss to take back your power. Specifically, at work in jobs, but just in general because this one action has ripple effects. If you quit your job, Yeah, you're in a new job but maybe that new job is More aligned to the lifestyle you want.
Or maybe you're not going to be getting paid as much as you were, but it opens up so many doors of opportunities. In other fields with other types of people who think similarly or who push you in a different way. Positive way. So, On this note, if you need any help, or if any of these types of topics themes, suggestions resonate with you.
if you'd like to work with me, you can also find information about that on my site and i will see you next time. And until then, Be your own boss.
Do you check in with yourself? Love yourself and go easy. Bye.