🌻EP 12: A Day in the Life: Why You’re Not Lazy—You’re Burnt Out by the Wrong Goals

How do we own our past so we can be on our present path...

TL;DL (Too Long; Didn’t Listen)

• I share about my business and professional changes from Jan 2024 (taking a 50% paycut for a remote role and what helped me navigate the financial/emotional changes)

• Prompts to see what is your path to peace/purpose/prosperity

• Please share this Substack with a friend who needs to hear this message 💓

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Let’s go back to Jan 2024….

It was a chilly wintery time here in Northern Virginia. I was an employee of a non-profit company, TechnoServe, on a USAID project.

The job was great. I felt super blessed to only go into the office 1x a month and got to meet my team in Amsterdam (fully paid for! my first time in Europe! and all by myself!).

Not to mention I am the first in my immediate family to go to Europe! Check out my IG Travel highlights 🤗🤗

I took a 50% pay cut to work a fully remote role and ground my business and energy, and yet… I was unhappy and unsatisfied and doubtful and…

Had I made the “right choice”?

The role is confusing and unclear. Am I able to show up for business and the 9-5 work?

Not to mention how all of this was affecting my physical, emotional, and mental health.

I decided to make a list of all the things I wasn’t happy about.

The List

And then I did the other side of the coin…what was going “right”?

What was lifting me up and helping me and ultimately feeling good?

The other half of The List: 🔁

I realized that I was attributing my worth, state of being, and acceptance to external goals. Things and checkboxes that could be in my control or not, could be achieved easily or not, and ultimately, leave my peace, purpose, and prosperity in the hands of the future.

So how’d it go? Leaving things to the future: enter Aug 2025

if i listed out all the things i'm unhappy or not satisfied with...

• some personal relationsihps

• being a contractor

• not having time for me

• not running or being consistently active

• that i'm not reading

• that i'm not listening to podcasts or enjoying videos or media

• that i'm only halfway where i'd like to be with my savings

• i feel like my business just goes in circles

ON THE FLIP SIDE:

• i don't have car loan or student loans

• i have some savings that could get me by for a few months

• i have a loving partner

• I'm healthy and continue to take care of myself my rest

• I've invested in a life coach

• i continue to work on my podcast and have monthly guests

• i have some good people in my life

Notice a trend? We all have patterns (conscious or not) that keep playing out even if we’re checking boxes.

To diffuse the power of pressure and expectations—especially the ones that feel like they’re wrapping around your nervous system like invisible cords—you don’t need to force your way out.

You need to disperse, deconstruct, and re-root.

🔥 1. Name the Source, Reclaim the Frame

Pressure thrives in vagueness and inherited narratives. Get clear:

• Whose expectation is this?

• Who benefits if I keep holding it?

• Is it rooted in love, fear, capitalism, or control?

Then reframe:

“This is not mine to carry in this way. I can choose how I relate to it.”

You go from “I have to live up to…” → “I get to define what enough looks and feels like.”

🌬️ 2. Let the Air In (Decompression Practices)

Pressure is compacted energy. It builds when there’s no space to breathe or release. You can diffuse it with:

• Somatic shaking / free movement

• Sighing or vocal toning (sound as release)

• Morning pages or vent journaling (uncensored truth dumps)

• 5 minutes of “being no one to no one” — no roles, just stillness

These invite air and truth into tight places.

💧 3. Expectations often trigger shame or urgency. That inner critic turns into a taskmaster.

Diffuse that heat with:

• “What would I say to a friend feeling this?”

• “What’s the most loving 5% I can do today?”

This softens the charge without bypassing the truth.

🪨 4. Root in Your Own Rhythm + Values

External pressure says: “Prove, perform, push.”
Reclaimed power says: “What do I want to practice and honor?”

Ask:

• What is my pace?

• What values are non-negotiable?

• What season of life or business am I in?

Creating your own inner “climate control” helps you withstand the weather of expectations.

⚡ 5. Ultimately, try:

• Speaking it aloud: “This is what’s trying to hijack me right now…”

• Moving your body in a way that reclaims force (boxing, stomping, swaying)

• Turning expectation into inquiry: “What’s the need underneath this?”

🧭 Final Thought: “I am not here to be shaped by pressure. I am here to be shaped by purpose.”